If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
