found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize