If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
