I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
