Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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