i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
