Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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