So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
