No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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