She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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