Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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