If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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