don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
