Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
