so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
did you just send me my own nude
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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