the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
