Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
