...so i touched it.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
