Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
