tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
