I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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