i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
