one might say we're banned from that church
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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