So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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