You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
