Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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