if you like me you must not know who I am
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
