You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
