Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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