I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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