I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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