please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
