if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
