i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
