Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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