she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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