My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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