The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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