I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
