So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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