So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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