I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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