I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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