I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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