Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Drake has all the answers
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
