just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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