If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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