So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
