so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
