Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
