Plan B is the new Plan A
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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