Just fell off a train. Bad.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
