I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
