I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
