What a fucking waste of an outfit
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I lost the right to judge tonight
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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