i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
