For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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