Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
