And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize