I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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