Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
